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"SITTING SHIVAH RESULTS IN JOB DEATH! FAIR? READ ON!"

Dear Kathryn:

My employer is using my deepest time of despair and recent losses to threaten my job.

I'm Jewish, working for a non-Jewish family-operated company of sixty-five employees. I earn two weeks vacation, five sick days and two bereavement days annually as a mid-level manager. As I didn't anticipate two tragedies within my family happening in the space of a month, I didn't save my vacation and sick time to use. My mother-in-law passed away two months ago and being of the Jewish faith and the daughter-in-law, I had to take seven days off for shivah. As I had already used my vacation and sick time, the two days bereavement didn't cover my time off. I was docked and returned to work to face a ticked-off boss.

Three weeks ago, my mom passed on unexpectedly and once again, I took off time for my religious observation. This time I returned to work to have a probation letter welcoming me, indicating the time I'd recently taken off was excessive. My employer was officially putting me "on notice." What he is really doing is threatening me, telling me that I shouldn't be allowed to observe my religious practices!

This is discriminatory and I won't stand having them use this as an excuse to terminate me at the end of thirty days. They didn't pay me while I was absent and they're still griping, saying they had to pay through the nose for a temp service to fill my job during my absence.

Where are my rights to practice my religious observances? I haven't even focused on the fact that my employer's an insensitive, greedy miser during the time I should be able to count on him.

GILDA R., Vernon, CT

Dear Gilda:

No question about it, losing two family members within two months is tragic. Given your employer's harsh response to your unique situation, my experience leads me to believe your employer's had an issue brewing with you prior to your losses that resulted in your extended absences. Regardless, let's tackle the question-- is your boss committing "religious discrimination" by issuing a probation following your absence. I consulted Attorney Henry Zaccardi and he reports an employer must show "an accommodation "to the employee, according to Title 7 and The CT Fair Employment Practices Act. Zaccardi says however, there is no hard and fast rule defining what the "accommodation" must be.

Is there a potential claim on your part for religious discrimination? Zaccardi and I feel it's a possibility. If you are considering that, your next step would be the CT Commission on Human Rights and the EEOC. Would you be successful with a claim? Frankly, it's a long shot. Remember too, your employer hasn't terminated you yet.

Employers are not without defense in this situation. While the employer must make an attempt to accommodate their employees, in doing so, the employer must not be caused "undue hardship." Your employer could respond with proof the company incurred undue expense in refilling your position during your fourteen day absence.

While a complaint from you to CHRO would be a hassle for them, there's no guaranteed win here for you. My suggestion is for you to wait a week, request a sit-down with your boss and try to ferret out whatever else is irking him about your performance. I feel in addition to the inconvenience and expense your absence might have caused, it brought his displeasure with you or your performance to a head.

Dear Kathryn:

In recently applying for a paralegal job, my honesty cost me $60k.

The law firm representative was gung-ho, gushing about my experience, discussing benefits, salary and start date. The manager point blank said, you have the job and can start Monday. The job offer stayed in place until I spilled the beans about my only vice. I like to have a cigarette three times during the day requiring two ten minute breaks daily.

That night I received a message stating the offer was rescinded as they couldn't accommodate "my need." Upon calling the firm, the law firm manager point blank stated it wouldn't be fair if they allowed me two breaks when other employees took none. Discriminatory or not?

I hate to lie on future interviews but plan on doing so in my next interview and let the company deal with it. One last thing, can they ask me if I'm a smoker?

PAULINE R., Cromwell, CT

Dear Pauline:

Your experience can't qualify as discriminatory. You're asking for break time that no one else is getting. If you were to limit your smoking to lunch hours everyone gets, you could do as you wish. According to CT Statute 31-40s, the employer can't dictate what you do outside the course of employment, including smoking This Statute also means an employer's on rocky ground inquiring as whether you're a smoker. As long as your smoking doesn't affect your time on the employer's clock, it's not legal for them to question you about your habit.

Dear Kathryn:

I'm thinking about a White House externship the second semester while I'm in my third year of college. My dad says it's a waste of time. I won't get paid for it and he says the experience isn't valued the way it was years ago by employers. I think it would set me apart from other new grads when I go to job hunt. What's your opinion and how can I find out more about this?

SUE R., Pawcatuck, RI

Dear Sue:

Well, the White House internship will offer the opportunity to sit alongside some of the celebrated names in government and politics as well as be involved in prestigious activities. Does the WH internship carry clout? Depends on your future career direction.

Know that your dad's right about not receiving a penny for it; being required to pass a security clearance and consent to random drug tests.

If you can financially afford it and your major is political science or economics, go for it. Get details @ www.whitehouse.gov/government/wh-intern.html.